Preparation is key

Think hard about WHY you want what you want.

What do you care about? What are you worried about? What do you absolutely need? What’s a dealbreaker?

Now do the same exercise for the other side. Try to figure out what they want and need and care about. Do research. Talk to people who have been in this situation.

Having the conversation

1. OPENING

Start positive. Thank you for talking with me about this, I’m looking forward to working together. (Unless it’s an especially contentious negotiation; then you might need to be stern.)

You can also open with a summary of your starting positions. I’ve requested X; you’ve proposed Y; I appreciate the chance to discuss it with you.

2. LEARNING / Q&A

You’ve guessed what they want and need based on your limited information. Now ask questions. Use your empathy here. Repeat their concerns back to them to show that you’ve heard and understood.

Ask for clarification or confirmation. I’m hearing that you’re looking for regular contributors and want to reduce your work with freelancers, is that right?

Probe for reasons. So you’re telling me the cap is $50,000, but you expect to pay less than that. Can you explain the factors that go into the amount you decide on?

In response to their concerns, share some of your own. I understand that you have limited flexibility in this area. I need to be paid at least market rate to make this work. Could we do X? Or lob the problem back to them: Do you see a way we could get past this?

3. PROPOSING OUTCOMES

After both sides understand enough about the other’s rationales and concerns, move into proposing possible outcomes that take the key concerns into account. What if we did X?” “Would it work for you to do Y?

Don’t be put off if the answer is “no” – it just means you’re not done yet. If that doesn’t work, what about Z instead? What about that doesn’t work for you?

If you don’t like a proposal the other side makes, explain why. That solves the money problem, but I’m not sure I’d be able to complete the project in time.

4. CLOSING

Normally, you want to leave it on a positive note. Thank the person for their time and effort.

If it’s been a tough negotiation, you can acknowledge that to clear the air. That was not easy, but I appreciate that you worked through it with me and I think we came to a good outcome.

Want more specifics? Have questions? Learn about Pia’s negotiation teaching and coaching.