Genuine positive feedback is hard to give and receive.

It’s hard to give without sounding disingenuous, pandering, or vapid.

It’s hard to receive because we feel like we’re supposed to demur or reciprocate. (And for some of us, because we don’t feel like we deserve it.)

I keep saying “genuine” because it’s easy to give fake praise, and perhaps polite to brush it off.

But when I tell someone I admire them, it can feel embarrassing and uncomfortable. I met one of my favorite writers and what do you say to them? “You’re you! OMG!” Or if you’re more articulate, “Your work means so much to me because of ___.” Either way is awkward.

The person giving positive feedback is revealing some of their thoughts and feelings, making themselves vulnerable.

Receiving genuine positive feedback with appreciation and gratitude is a gift.

(Early morning thoughts from the Tin House summer workshop!)