Parent of toddlers often use the “A or B?” strategy to give their kids autonomy within limits. Do you want to wear the red shirt, or the blue? Do you want to eat the broccoli, or the cucumber?

Unfortunately, kids eventually get smart enough to say, “Neither!”

Grown-ups can say Neither too.

If you get a nasty lawyer letter, a demand from a colleague, or otherwise are presented with an unpleasant choice, you can choose to do nothing!

Ask yourself: Am I legally or ethically obligated to respond? What are the consequences if I don’t respond?

If you’re not obligated to respond and the consequences don’t bother you, just let the request sit unanswered. You don’t even have to say no.

Here’s a real-life example from Twitter (full tweet with letter below). Grad student union organizer at Harvard gets a threatening letter from the university, saying he needs to fill out a form and depending on the information provided, Harvard may dock his pay.

According to the letter, Harvard has an obligation to collect this information. But does the organizer have an obligation to provide it? Nope. And what’s going to happen if he doesn’t? Probably Harvard will get mad and send another letter. So… his response? “LOL.” Perfect.

You do not have to engage with people trying to get you to do things that you have no obligation to do. You don’t have to say no. You don’t have to set boundaries. You can just… do nothing.