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I have a podcast now

I listen to podcasts daily on my commute, or occasionally during a 3 a.m. wakeup (although classic literature read in a rolling accent, or Buddhist meditation audiobooks, tend to work better to get me to relax). And now I have one! Which currently only has a single four-minute episode, and is tied to my Substack. …

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Negotiation

Understand the problem before solving it

Here’s a math problem for you: Addition. What’s the answer? Uh… You can’t solve “addition.” You need more information first. Solution space Mathematicians use the word “solution space” to describe the set of possible solutions to a problem. People who do a lot of systematic problem-solving – negotiators, mediators, engineers, project managers – use it …

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On receiving genuine praise

Genuine positive feedback is hard to give and receive. It’s hard to give without sounding disingenuous, pandering, or vapid. It’s hard to receive because we feel like we’re supposed to demur or reciprocate. (And for some of us, because we don’t feel like we deserve it.) I keep saying “genuine” because it’s easy to give …

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Breaking apart the novel

I haven’t written a novel process post since 2021. “Ready to query by the end of the year,” I predicted. It’s terribly un-literary of me to say, but, lol. It’s 2023, I am on my fifth-or-so draft of “Take My Advice,” and I am using the technique that both Matt Bell and Sandra Newman recommend …

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All Negotiation

Resetting a negotiation gone bad

Here’s something that actually happened to me: Two companies worked together on an online system. The system had a problem that could not be fixed, but we needed to figure out what actions to take that would clean it up as much as possible. During the negotiation, I was frustrated that the other party kept …

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Contract negotiations: Make an issue checklist

An issue checklist is a list of important issues that your negotiation needs to address. For each issue, you should identify your ideal outcome, acceptable outcome, and unacceptable outcome. In contract negotiations, this is easy. Find contracts like yours — Google is your friend — and skim each one to see what issues it covers. …

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How to raise an issue: Observation + Impact + Request

Ineffective way to raise an issue: “You are so loud and it’s driving me crazy! How am I supposed to get anything done?” Effective way to raise an issue: Observation + Impact + Request For a coworker: “I’ve noticed your music has gotten louder over the past few days, and I’m having trouble concentrating on …

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Negotiation tip: Do nothing

Parent of toddlers often use the “A or B?” strategy to give their kids autonomy within limits. Do you want to wear the red shirt, or the blue? Do you want to eat the broccoli, or the cucumber? Unfortunately, kids eventually get smart enough to say, “Neither!” Grown-ups can say Neither too. If you get …

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24 Days of Christmas All

Christmas On Ice

[Originally sent out December 2021 in 24 Days of Christmas Newsletter, with plot synopses for Hallmark-style holiday movies that I’d like to see.] Figure skater Josie Lee has sacrificed everything for her skating career, including her high school boyfriend who would have done anything for her. Now she’s back in her hometown after an Olympics …

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24 Days of Christmas All

A Castle for Christmas (Netflix)

Knitting club, softest cashmere, and Brooke Shields in Scotland. Rating: one million. [Originally sent out December 2021 in 24 Days of Christmas newsletter] Up at 3 a.m. and instead of breathing deeply while meditating on all for which I am grateful, I grabbed my laptop to watch my first real Christmas movie of the season. …

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