Genuine positive feedback is hard to give and receive. It’s hard to give without sounding disingenuous, pandering, or vapid. It’s hard to receive because we feel like we’re supposed to demur or reciprocate. (And for some of us, because we don’t feel like we deserve it.) I keep saying “genuine” because it’s easy to give …

I haven’t written a novel process post since 2021. “Ready to query by the end of the year,” I predicted. It’s terribly un-literary of me to say, but, lol. It’s 2023, I am on my fifth-or-so draft of “Take My Advice,” and I am using the technique that both Matt Bell and Sandra Newman recommend …

An issue checklist is a list of important issues that your negotiation needs to address. For each issue, you should identify your ideal outcome, acceptable outcome, and unacceptable outcome. In contract negotiations, this is easy. Find contracts like yours — Google is your friend — and skim each one to see what issues it covers. …

Ineffective way to raise an issue: “You are so loud and it’s driving me crazy! How am I supposed to get anything done?” Effective way to raise an issue: Observation + Impact + Request For a coworker: “I’ve noticed your music has gotten louder over the past few days, and I’m having trouble concentrating on …

Parent of toddlers often use the “A or B?” strategy to give their kids autonomy within limits. Do you want to wear the red shirt, or the blue? Do you want to eat the broccoli, or the cucumber? Unfortunately, kids eventually get smart enough to say, “Neither!” Grown-ups can say Neither too. If you get …